Makeup Madness- A Poorly Written Silent Thought Short

INT. Metch's bedroom.


Enter Metch. She sits in front of the mirror and shakes her head approximately eight million times while looking at all of the makeup that sits before her. She stares at the brushes, the sponge applicators, the tweezers, the sharpener, the q-tips and cotton balls, the wipes. Metch considers crying. She doesn't. She shakes her head some more and then she gets down to business…step 1, step 2, step 3…Camera zooms in on her hand as she picks up the bottle of essential oils. Cue Music. Flashback: We see Metch as a little girl watching her mother. Her mother completes her morning routine. There is no makeup. Return to present- Metch still in front of the mirror. Still shaking her head. Still with the makeup and tools required to apply it.


I've seen the occasional old picture of my mother wearing a shade of red lipstick. That's it. Those pictures were taken before I was even a thought or the surprise I'm I happy I was. In my lifetime I have never seen my mother apply or wear any type of makeup. I assume it's because of this that I never longed to wear any. As a matter of fact I never imagined that I would wear it outside of what was needed for the stage. During high school I went through phases. I wore lipstick sometimes. Mascara became a must and I discovered the beauty of a waxed eyebrow. That didn't seem too far gone…it wasn't. I thought that's all there was. That's all there would/should be.


Now I have to wear makeup all the time. I'm talking serious makeup. I'm talking steps here: a mist of essential oils, moisturizer, primer, concealer, foundation, eye shadow, eyeliner, bronzer, blush, lip liner, lipstick, gloss and finally another spray of essential oils and if I feel like I lack luster- a spray of fix plus, too much luster-finishing powder. Even when I want to appear natural, as if I don't have any makeup on, the same steps are required.


I can't go to an on- camera audition without the face being beat. I can't. Not my rule but the camera's rule. I definitely don't want to get feedback from a casting director, via my agent, asking, "can you tell her to wear makeup?" Yep, that has actually happened... The camera also calls for lashes. Try wearing lashes three or more times a week and then try not wearing them. When I don't have to wear them and I look in the mirror I'm confused. Is something missing? Why do I look bald in the eye area? I look bald eyed. Comedy. Pure comedy. We won't even talk about the contouring and highlighting that has to take place sometimes. Makeup is serious business.


Some days the thought of putting makeup on almost kills me(yes I'm being a little dramatic but in the moment it really does feel like I'm about to die, a fake death, but still a death). Some days I look in the mirror and think I must apply the layers because the world should not be punished. Some days I recognize that thought as insanity. Some days I take that thought to be the absolute truth. The more I look at myself with makeup on… the more I am led to crazy when I look at myself without it. Makeup and makeup alone is responsible for sightings of the dusty gray cow. WHAT THE WHAT???? What happened to my days of all natural, of cocoa butter and a little vaseline on the lip?


My trips to Sephora and MAC are going to break me.


I hate having a night time face in the middle of the day…this is SHITTY FABNESS at its height. My constant complaints about having to wear makeup are pretty SHITTY FAB, I know. In the real world no one cares, I don't care, the complaints don't change anything and yes there are greater issues to think about, but in these moments, in the hyperbolic run of my mind, having to wear makeup ten days in a row is the end of the world.


In a bit I have to go to an audition and like every audition day I dare to consider not putting the crazy on my face. I have yet to let my real desire win. I put the layers on every time. I wish I wouldn't do it today, but I will. I hate the feeling of it on my face. It's a layer of shit. I feel like my face is smeared with shit. I mean that's what it looks like if I hug someone and hold my head at the wrong angle and it rubs off. Sorry if it's ever been you. When will the create a product that ends rub off?


The application is complete. It looks good. Doesn't feel good but it looks good, at least not today. It doesn't feel good today. I confess that I like it sometimes…that's a different entry…a different poorly written silent thought short.


Exit Metch, the makeup laden actor. She rushes out of the door asking, "who created HD?" More business to tend to, more face to give. She has to hurry because once she reaches her destination she'll have to touch up the crazy.


Later that day she writes a letter.


Dear Skin,


I'm sorry. I apologize for being SHITTY FAB and having to wear makeup more often than not.


Love, Metch.