JFK Don Juan

Hello,

It is 5:33am and I am at the airport on the way back to the West Coast.

I have been up all night because I want to sleep on the plane. I get nervous flying and prefer it that way. I am EXHAUSTED! I look terrible and feel worse!

I miss the Ole' Buzzard and really didn't want to leave him. We had such a nice day of bike riding, movies and things! It was a perfect day and I am gonna go to LA and feel lonely again! But alas...I will return in 3 weeks and I will never leave my Ole' Buzzard for this long again!

Then I get to the airport and am instantly wooed by the official JFK Airport Rico Suave'!

I LOOK AWFUL! Believe this...and this guy is walking next to me speaking in Spanish, I promise you, for like a minute (and that is a long time for someone to talk while walking). Especially since he was getiing no response from me!

THEN...I realize that he is talking to me. So I turn my head with a furrowed brow, slightly angry because I don't want to talk. I want to sleep. And did I mention that I am dying from a patch of what must be eczema under my left eye! WHAT IS THAT!!! I can't deal. It makes me feel creepy. But anyway, me and my eczema patch eye, no sleep, crazy person missing her Buzzard, is being spoken to in Spanish for like a full minute. When I look at him I say, "I don't speak Spanish". He is like, "No?...(laugh) I thought you were Spanish." I say, "Well, I am not."

So I think clearly this is over. All I can think about is my itchy eye and taking a pee, so I am looking for the bathroom. When he comes up to me again...

"Where are you from?" OH and did I mention that he was dressed like a cross between a Jersey Shore cast member and cheesy imitation of Lil' Wayne. Alright...I look at him with such annoyance and say, "Philly" He says, "Oh you are an American?" I can't take it! I forget what else he said because I am sleepy writing this, but I remember making it to the bathroom and having this thought...

I am gonna need men to NOT try and pick up women at 5am in the AIRPORT!!!!!!!

Oh Mr. JFK Don Juan...