Code Word Ice Cream

The week came to an end. Before it did I learned the code word. Ice Cream(it's not the real code word, I think if I told you the real one that would be a violation). That's how some of the residents(the children and young adults) at the center discuss their HIV positive status. They say they have ice cream.

I'm interested in code words. I like that people can communicate with each other and even if they are speaking the same language you speak you may have no idea what they are talking about...I wish this particular code didn't exist...I wish HIV/AIDS didn't exist. I wish there wasn't a need for me to be at a facility that is home to children and young adults living and learning to live with AIDS.

I am happy that ASTEP gives me the opportunity to do something more active than wish...

For two days Lisa rehearsed her poem. For two days every time she came to the line, "you've known for some time now that I have ice cream..." I wished she was actually talking about ice cream. There was nothing I could do about that. I could only talk to her about operative words, focusing her energy, being aware of her body, communicating the story she was trying to tell, slowing down, articulating, making choices that would allow her to really share with the audience, about specificity, about who she is, where she is from, where she was now, and where she was going, the journey. That's all she really wanted to know about anyway. She wants to act and she asked me to make her a better actor. I could do that. When the audience came, in the moment, she changed the line. She said, "you've known for some time now that I have AIDS." It was a very potent moment for me and others. She was brave, she is brave. I was still wishing she had ice cream. I imagine she would like that too...I could be wrong.

They shared songs(they wrote a song about pushing through, about their cell counts being low and having to take their meds, and everyday being another day and a chance to do better and be better). They did scenes, monologues, dance pieces, they created commercials on the spot, they did a lot of improv, they rapped, they ate, we laughed together, they laughed at us and said we were crazy. Some didn't participate at first, by the end they all did. By the end they all shared. By the end of the week they all played, we all went on a journey and they reminded me, yet again, not to take life for granted and not to sweat the small stuff. One must live a SHITTY FAB life.

At the end of the program Mo asked the participants if they had anything they wanted to say about the week...Alexis, shes 13, said,"I liked working with ASTEP. They really got me thinking about my future." Oh buddy, it never dawned on me that such a brilliant young girl hadn't been thinking about her future, hadn't been considering her potential. It makes sense though when part of your day is dedicated to taking meds that you do or don't want to take. It makes sense when for years you have been told you are sick and you will die. I guess I wouldn't be thinking about my future either unless someone reminded me to do so. As part of one of the exercises we did with them, Alexis wrote a verse about what she would be doing in five years and her delivery leaves no room for doubt. She'll be doing it for sure. I'm so happy that I was part of a team that brought what she already had to the forefront...

Get up and at 'em...volunteer with ASTEP!

...I hope I don't get in trouble for this but one of the members on the teaching team wrote a chant that the students said everyday. Of course another team member developed movements that the participants came up with into choreography for the chant...I loved the chant, it got me hype everyday so I must share it... it's below...the week was beautiful...Shout out to Tucks, Chill Will, and of course Mo. It's nice to be in great company. I learned plenty from the three of you.

I'm currently redefining the journey I'm on...

The Chant

This is where I'm from

This is where I'm at

This is where I'm going, so bring the beat back

My name is (the participants chant their names in the round)

We grew up all around

But now we’re in the Heights

And we’re never coming down

In five years time we’ll be on our grind

You stay doing your thing

I’ll stay doing mine

This is where I'm from

This is where I'm at

This is where I'm going, so bring the beat back

Oh, they want me to fall

fall from the top(top)

they want me to drop(drop)

they want me to stop(NO)

they want me to go(go)

I’m already gone

the journey I’m on

I’m already gone

the journey I’m on

I’m already gone

the journey I’m on

And they gave us pretty flowers...amazing!