101 DAYZ: Tax Time

So all I can think about today is the stress of preparing my tax stuff to take to the accountant.

I don't want to have to think about being with child and doing taxes.

UNTIL...

I realized that next year, for once, I can get money back because of my little X Man!

YEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Why didn't I have a child earlier?
MINdog OWT!

101 Dayz: I Can't See My Vag...

I can't believe that I could have my wittle widda widda in as little as 9 weeks!!!

CRAZY!

Today I sat in front of my wall mirror and stared at my "you know what..."

Why did I just get shy?

I stared at my "private part" with my legs agape and I just sat and thought about it. In as little as nine weeks a little baby could possibly come out of my "THING"!


Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

My itty bitty little tiny weeny vag! OH MAN!

I stopped being nervous about labor a while ago, but ya know when I looked at my vag...I kinda got a little bit nervous. HOLLA IF YA HEAR ME!

To add to this, unless I am looking for it in a mirror, I can't even see my vagina! I haven't seen it in weeks!

OH Pregnancy. OH Pregnancy.

MINdog OWT!

Third Date- Part I

Around this time last year I was theoretically deleting must haves from my perpetually growing must have list.  I had seen the light.  The pressure from friends and wise ones, and all the Oprah quotes that were being spouted by the friends and wise ones had become too much.  It was time to step out and leave my secure imagined world.  

I did it.  I deleted some must haves and behold the number of dates increased.  Of course there were several duds along the way but when the must have list was active I had just as many duds so I've learned that the list didn't/doesn't  really matter (as it relates to weeding out duds).

THE STORY

Here I am on my third date with a man who has/seems to be everything that was on the original must have list.  That's amazing right?

It's a nice date.  Towards the end of it he's asking me a lot of questions and that's fine but I didn't feel like answering them but I answered them- not in a fully giving way but I answered them.  He's talking and I'm listening but really I'm thinking more than listening and I'm wondering WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME.

I was a little bothered because we "ran into a few of his friends by chance."  Now there's nothing wrong with that I suppose.  I mean I'm flattered that he wanted his friends to secretly scope me out and grill me- fine I'll admit it- I WAS ANNOYED when I was conveniently left alone with one of his girlfriends and she began asking a thousand questions as if I had proposed to the man and we were about to elope. 

I guess I went along with it because all involved were decent company and despite the grilling I was having a good time.  I didn't know people still set up "by chance meetings of friends" but I don't know a lot of things...  His friends were nice and he's nice and that matters but the truth is I'm not really interested or am I?  That's where all the wonder began.  

Why am I not interested in this beautiful, beautiful man?  Maybe I am interested and I don't want to admit it.  Our dates have been spread out and our communication has been constant so though it was the third date it felt like the ninth.  That should be good and it was/is but...

Just before the "by chance meeting" of his friends, he looked over at a couple (they were clearly in their own world) and asked, "Do you think that could be us?"  

WHHAAATTT?  This was the turning point...  I had no answer.  I just giggled.  It was all I could think to do.  When I giggle I know I need to run so I did.  I excused myself and dove into the ladies room.  

I calmly stood in front of the mirror applying  lipstick that I didn't need and fixing hair that wasn't out of place- on the inside I was cracking up.  Why did he have to ask that stupid question?   Why did I think the question was stupid?

He has been very blunt from the beginning about what he is looking for so in honesty that question shouldn't have surprised me, meeting his friends shouldn't have surprised me either but both did.

I struck a few silly poses in the mirror and allowed myself to laugh out loud in an attempt to get out of my head and just have fun.  Now I had a little pep in my step.  I just needed a breather.  Time to return to the "date."  

When I came out of the ladies room I was greeted by three of his friends.  Two guys and a gal.  No room to breathe here.  The effect of the poses and laugh wore off immediately.  From crazy question to meeting two of his life long friends and the wife to the closest one.  UMMMMMMMMM...

When the friends went about their business and it was just the two of us again I was too aware of myself and way too aware of how interested in me he is.  SH*T, this was turning out to be the best worst third date I have ever been on and I so badly wanted to give in and let it be the best but the worst had already involved itself so I was stuck...

END PART I

Listen Up!

The time has come.

Click here and hit the like button on the MinDog & Metch facebook page.

We had been avoiding it but then sheer madness took over.

Come on- join the craze, the madness and let the world know that you co-sign our shitty fabulous-ness!!! (The rhyme was too shitty fab to resist).

The truth is- things are in the works people...  Stay tuned and   LIKE OUR PAGE ON FACEBOOK!


Thank you MUCH,

MinDog & Metch

101 Dayz: The Sugar Test

I just had my sugar test to see if I'm gonna get gestational diabetes. EXCITING!!!

First I had to not eat from 8pm to 10am the next morning (which ended up being 11am).

And when you're preggers that is the same as DIRE STARVATION!!!

I get to the doctor's office at 8am have blood drawn...drink a sugar drink...have blood drawn again an hour later...and then MORE BLOOD DRAWN an hour after that!

Am I being a baby? Possibly...alright I am.

BUT I mean come on! Getting all poked up 3 TIMES... I've had more blood drawn since getting knocked up than I've ever had in my entire life.


Doesn't the baby need that blood?

Just saying...

MINdog OWT!

101 Dayz - Nipples

I guess I'll begin with an update to catch you up to where I am now.

I have gained about 20 pounds...

Am just about in my 7th month...

I itch like crazy...

Thank God I have not gotten any stretch marks yet (thanks to Monica Kapoor)...

Am studying the Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth...

Did I mention that I am having a natural childbirth? WERK!

And the craziest thing so far is my nipples!

THE NIPPLE STORY

In my first trimester my nipples began to itch like CRAZY! Especially my right one! Why did no one ever tell me this could happen?

And when I asked Crazy Heart (my MOM) all she said was, "Oh yeah, the old nipple itch."

But I had a solution...

I got my bath gloves out of the shower, left them dry and sat for a day scratching my little right boob and it felt divine.

D said it was a bad idea but I thought, "What does he know, his nipple doesn't itch like this!"

So the following day I did it a bit more. This time it felt good, but hurt too. You know like when you have a itch and you keep scratching it because it feels good, but burns at the same time...or is it just me?

Annnnywwaaayyyy... The next day I was greeted with scabs...DID YOU HEAR ME!! SCABS on my NIPPLE! ALL OVER!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The worst part...

As I told my friends my story of horror/ comedy (because I find most things very funny, especially after the pain is gone...) no one was surprised...

PHOTO: Me pregnant sleeping at a club where I had just hosted the Out of the Ensemble Cabaret...Chosen because I think my boobs look FIERCE!!

MINdog OWT!

UNANSWERED

It's time to discuss this matter.  It's time to get down to business and call people out.  

If you are not an adult you get a pass.  If you are an adult it's time to man up or woman up- if you prefer that phrase.

Have you ever heard somebody say, "no response is a response."  I hear that statement and say it all the time.  I don't want to hear it anymore; I don't want to use it anymore.  While no response is a kind of response an actual response would be nice.  An actual response is better.  There is too much pressure and sometimes pain involved when I or anyone has to figure out what your lack of response really means...

 Don't leave me standing in the room looking at you wondering if I actually asked the question out loud.  Don't have me checking my sent mail to see if I actually sent that email.  Don't have me looking at my phone seven days after the fact because you haven't replied to the text I sent you seven days ago.  Just respond in a decent amount of time after initial contact is made.  Yeah you may be busy, you may be.  However it is dead wrong to all of a sudden become available when you have to contact me because you need me to answer your question.  

It's awkward when I have to ask, "did you get my text?"  Really awkward when we both know you did and you try to find a way to say that you didn't but in the end you can't because it's 2011 and communication methods are too advanced for your lies...

If you're in the early stages of dating someone and they don't respond to your communication- who cares?  It's clear what that is.  He or she is not into you as they say.  I mean sometimes you find yourself wondering why but in the end it doesn't matter because it shouldn't.  

If you are dear friends, husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, or business partners of some kind or siblings or have any kind of meaningful relationship the lack of response becomes offensive and insulting especially when you pretend a question wasn't asked or a topic wasn't put on the table for discussion.  

People ask you questions and want information because, whatever the subject is, it matters to them.  Have some respect give a response.  Even if you say, "I don't want to talk about this right now" or "I don't know how to respond to that."  It doesn't matter what your answer is -BUT DON'T BE SILENT OR LEAVE COMMUNICATION UNANSWERED.  It's not fair and it hurts.

Grow some balls or some breasts, be an adult and simply say, "I need to talk about this later," or "I don't know the answer to that," or "No," or "I can't make up my mind," or "I don't like you," or " You make me sick," or "Get out of my face,"  or whatever it is you are feeling but DON'T BE SILENT OR LEAVE COMMUNICATION UNANSWERED.