Some Scents

Ever hug somebody and then smell like them all day?


I can't figure out if I actually smell like her or if she was so potent that I just can't forget her.


I'm not creating the scent, I actually smell it. I think.


I'm wondering what she's doing right now.


The scent or the memory of the scent had me thinking about her specifically.


After I grew tired of that, because I realized I'm not that interested in what she's doing, I started thinking about other scents.


Vinegar, leather, chalk, gin, gyms and my father's aftershave (I haven't smelled that in years). I strongly like and dislike all of the scents I just listed. It depends on the moment. When I was thinking about them tonight I disliked them. Strongly. I quickly moved on to a scent I always like.


My mother.


My mother has never worn perfume. At least I don't remember ever smelling any on her. I do know what she smells like when she's been in America and what she smells like when she's just returned from Africa. Right now, more than the difference in scent, I am interested in how long it takes for one scent to fade and the other to become dominant.


I hope I have an opportunity to calculate that at some point. My guess is three months.

Selective Memory

Let us take it down a bit to a more serious level!

I am not a fan of "selective memory"... I am not featuring it at all...

Shouldn't we all at least try to live in truth? It makes things so much easier...right?
It always makes me wonder why folks try to deny the bad things and mistakes in their lives. Aren't those very things, coupled with the good stuff , a large part of what makes us who we are? Hmmm...
Now I am not suggesting that we wear those awful things pinned to our clothing as we go through life, but dang it OWN who you are and what you've done!

I just had the most interesting conversation with a notorious selective memory abuser in which I was expected to rewrite my own history because of the things that they don't want to face. COME ON NOW!

It is mutha flower "O" to the 10!

I challenge anyone reading this blog to look inside yourself and face those dirty little secret parts. It ain't pretty and may require you to do a little work on yourself but why not! We are here to grow and learn.

Sample Story...
My self -diagnosed abandonment issues have been known to make me behave like a crazy person! I fight it but sometimes they win...

OK PAUSE!!!!! (WHISPER THIS)
Why is my roommate sitting with her friend who is talking about auditioning and things and here is the convo!

RM: Does your manager have anybody like me?

F: No actually he has mostly Black people.

RM: Oh, maybe I can be the token White. Ha Ha.

F: Yeah cause he has like all older people and Black people.
THEN TO ME!!!!! He says...

F: (TO ME!!!!!!) Oh I am sorry, I always say that...I hope you don't mind (as he stutters about), I just always say "Black", I hope you are not offended.
Why is White guilt so funny?...and annoying at the same time...

BACK TO SELECTIVE MEMORY...
So sometimes my abandonment issues make me do crazy things and when I do I can't just pretend that they didn't happen. I don't dwell on it, I deal with the consequences and press on.
It ain't easy but at least that is the goal...

We are human, we make mistakes, and hell, that is what forgiveness is for!

Anyway, I forgave you a long time ago, Mr Charles!

AND DAMMIT I HAVE BEEN USING SPELL CHECK! (Refer to Getting to Know Me YAY Blog)