When present company should not hear your thoughts you have to find other ways to communicate. Sometimes communicating via airwaves is not enough. Sometimes the phone must be pulled out and a message must be sent.
It's funny and tragic when you are texting the person sitting across from you at a dinner table. This is rude but in certain casual situations anything is a go.
We were at a dinner to celebrate a birthday. Two of my good friends were there and they were reading my mind and I needed them to stop because it was making me more awkward than I already am…thanks guys, I don't need any help! So I had to pull out the phone. My intention was to send a text and order them to cease reading my thoughts immediately. Their mind reading was making it almost impossible for me to have adult conversation. STOP Fellas, STOP. I'm trying to be an adult…
I pull out the phone, mumbling an apology to the folks next to me. I'm sure they didn't care and probably didn't even hear me but I have a bit of decorum. I mumble something like, "I'm sorry, I just have to send an important message."
Before I can get to the keypad I have an incoming text from- you guessed it- one of the Fellas. This is what goes down (if you don't know by now I love relaying certain text conversations, funniness, see below).
Fella #1: ****** looks amazing. He is… shall I say it in the worst way possible? HOT.
This distracts me. I completely forget why I had pulled out my phone in the first place. Fella #1 sure enough WAS reading my mind and the air wave conversation we had been having was confirmed with that text. I forget about texting my order for him to cease reading my thoughts and text something else instead.
Metch: I know. I wholeheartedly agree with your worst description.
TIME LAPSE
Metch: Is that why I have a hard time talking to him?
Fella #1: You are…worst word…CRUSHING.
Metch: I know and THAT WORD IS THE WORST. Do not use it ever again in relation to me and my state of being. Ever. Use another word.
Fella #1: Whatever.
TIME LAPSE
Fella #1: He is so poised and brooding.
Metch: Best words…not so sure about brooding but poised is a good one. It sounds a little soft but I'll take it.
Fella #1: In the eyes there is a bit of mysterious something…brooding. He is GIVING me brooding.
Metch: Brooding implies a threat or depression though???!!!!??? Am I wrong?
Fella #1: You aren't wrong but brooding can be good. If we go the threat route you have to be honest- threats are…worst word…HOT. His threat is silent. That's good. You look good too. It all works.
Metch: and this is when I have to NOT text you for at least 5 minutes because you are the MOST right now. THREATS ARE HOT????? Um, NO! Time out. You are the MOST.
Fella #1: But I'm right.
Yes, Fella #1 and I always have text conversations like this, silly, I know. We put the phones down. The time out was real. Nobody knew we were texting each other. They just thought we were two, soon to be three, ill mannered fools or maybe they did know. At this point Fella #2 decides to send his 'need say now' text.
Fella#2: Also you like REALLY look major! Work Ho.*
Ugh, I love the Fellas!!! No dusty gray cow today.
*Just like certain behavior in certain situations is okay, certain people can say, "Work Ho." Please know that "Work Ho" is not to be used by just anyone when speaking to me.
1 comment:
Work HO!!!!!!!!
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