Bathroom Tale #3

The bathroom is a repeat. Different day. Different storytellers.
Different tale, obviously.
The title of this tale, Sex Is A Weapon. The author, MinDog.
The illustrator, CJC.
The characters, Mindog and Metch, Yasmeen, and CJC.






...things DO look different in black and white.

photography by Christine Jean Chambers

Bathroom Tale #1, Bathroom Tale #2

Saturday and Sunday with a Bathroom Tale Included

A recap.

all Saturday photography by Christine Jean Chambers

Saturday had us all over the city. In 13 hours we hit 3 out of five boroughs and did some damage. What's with the dramatic pause? Fine, we did no damage but we did have a festive day/night.

CJC had her camera with her. Does she go anywhere without it? NO. If she doesn't have it with her it's only because the bag that carries all the stuff she needs is too bulky to go with her ball gown and even then she will most likely have it and if she doesn't, she's quick to capture a moment with her mobile phone and make it look like she had the XLBD350064P757321 or whatever her camera's model number is.

That's CJC. All woman. She let me be a fake photographer for a moment. After setting the shot and doing all the stuff a real photographer does. All I had to do was push the button. She even taught me about framing and shutter speed and light. I got it sort of right eventually...I'm gonna stick to acting and pretending I'm a blogger. Real cameras are HEAVY.

T-Bone. Just talking away.

I think this is a fantastic candid.

We were at brunch and don't you know I was giving details about a date I had the night before and the man next to me(I had secretly been gawking at him and smelling him since we arrived, he knew it too - I saw him seeing me see him) decided to chime in. He heard me being me(I'm not so proud of the moment) and asked, "Does it really matter where he took you?" I tried to muster a no but I revealed my true self and said yes. To that answer he asked, "Did you have a good time?" "Yes," I said because I did. "Well that's all that matters," he said. " SHUTUP! SHUT THE BLEEP BLEEP UP," that's what I thought because I knew he was right.

I was annoyed because CJC and T-Bone had just been berating me with the same sentiment and MinDog had done the same on our cross country phone call earlier that morning. I was also annoyed because I was wondering why he didn't ask me out instead of butting into our conversation...in my head my life is so grand and only things that happen in movies happen to me. Not the heartache and pain just the good stuff. For example- in the movie version of my life the guy that I had been smelling(he was also smelling me) turns and says, "Sorry you didn't like where he took you. I can take you somewhere you are guaranteed to like." Then we waltz toward the sunset, never get married, cue music, we travel the world and live happily ever after. Yeah it's corny but so what...bear with me world.

Another fantastic shot. I think T-Bone must have been talking about how shitty fabulous her life is. That's the only subject that can produce a smile like that...

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The Bathroom Tale

We both had headaches and didn't know why.
We paused in the bathroom. Documented the tale.
Decided we needed water and sugar.
Sat down for a while. Stared at people. Listened to some live music.
Popped some Advil. And then proceeded to the 4th floor
to see what we had come to see.

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Saturday. If you want to see more of CJC's photography from this past weekend click here.

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Sunday.

A completely different vibe. No 13 hour outing. No gal pals. I woke up did a bit of research. Went to eat and learn lines by my lonesome. Brandon met me and we had dessert together. He also sang a a snippet from Jurassic Parq: The Broadway Musical for me...hilarity(can't wait to see it). Came home. Took a nap. Woke up to work on lines again. Checked email. Responded to email. Wrote a wee bit. Solidified lines I learned and watched an additional movie for research.

I know. I know. That is not the meal a woman on a strategic workout plan should be eating but sometimes, some multiple times in a week during the summer months it's gotta happen. The trainer is gonna make me pay! I'm okay with that.

How could I not be? My life is so SHITTY FAB and I LOVE IT!!!

Bathroom Tales...

 BATHROOM TALES...this is silly, but I give good silly.

Somewhere during an evening out we decided: whenever the three of us are galloping apace together we should go into the restroom of the establishment we are in and take a picture.

What inspired this?

I have no idea. Can't quite remember. But once the decision was made we went for it. Maybe it's sort of like this blog. Another way to document the ridiculous and not so ridiculous moments in my life. The insanity, the fun, the rage, the shitty fabulous-ness of it all, the whatever...ok on to Bathroom Tale #1.

After calculating that we could hit four bathrooms in four different locations in this one outing, we began.

This was the first stop. We had a nice light meal and chilled beverages at that location.

Critique: I need to work on giving more neck in future bathroom shots. CJC you gotta look in the mirror and manage the camera at the same time. I need more eyes from you. T this is a good one for you. Nice smile. Then again you did "challenge your husband" so you should have a nice smile.

Second stop. We entered the location. Headed down the stairs to the restroom and before we could open the bathroom door the fake security guard/bouncer/I always wanted to be in a position of power man yells at us, " hey, hey, two of you come back upstairs. Only one at a time. When the first one is finished another one can go in but two of you have to come back up." WHAT THE WHAT? Where am I? We were so confused by the yelling and what he yelled. I thought he must be joking. He wasn't. We left immediately. Darn, no picture tale from that restroom. 1 for 2.

Third stop. They were closed. 1 for 3.

We were not doing very well for our first night on the job.

Fourth stop. We wasted no time here. We went directly to the bathroom. There were two. YAY!

We chatted with some folks, laughed too much and drank some water before we hit the second restroom in the joint.

Critique: This is a good one all around. Too bad it's blurry.

That's the second restroom. It had much better lighting.

Critique: We all look lost! CJC you give a good lost look.

In the end...3 out of 5.

JUST PLAIN SILLINESS!

Dreaming/It Continues...

Dreaming
I have seriously been dreaming about a bike with a basket. A pretty basket. A very pretty basket. I've been dreaming about it for more than two years now. The dreams where my bike asserts itself as the star have become more frequent.

I can't stop. The dreams won't stop.

The frequency of the dreams about my future bike may be inspired by my longing for a country like life in the city and my obsession with a particular blog. the wild and wily ways of a BRUNETTE BOMBSHELL. It's as if she's in my head. There are words that make me think of SANDY(that's my bike's name) and pictures that sort of look like SANDY or SANDY'S sister or cousin all over that blog's pages...check out the third image down in this post. It doesn't have the very pretty basket and it's not chrome-ish/copper-ish/strategically rusted/sometimes a rusty burnt orange/sometimes red/sometimes green/sometimes yellow or royal blue but that bike is definitely in my bike's family.

...SANDY goes on my list of things I want but just can't have yet...guess that's why dreaming is good(deep, deep sigh).

Some days I wake up thinking the first thing I will do is go for a ride.

The future is most definitely on my mind(another deep, deep sigh- the sighs are good ).

SIMPLICITY!

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It Continues...
Bathroom Tale #2 (Did you miss the first installment of Bathroom Tales? Click here to check it out.)

This is a nice mirror, the best one yet.

Indeed, the pics leave a lot to be desired in terms of clarity but our lives are SHITTY FABULOUS. Shitty Fabulocity or Shitty Fabulous-ness(whichever you prefer) doesn't always include clarity...

Critique: Blurry but cute.

Critique: Comedy. T, did I catch you
off guard or was that face on purpose?
CJC definitely got caught mid laugh.I don't know
what I was doing besides being the
Black spot that you can't really make out...HA!

Critique: The best of the batch...I kinda love it.
I immediately get into CJC's direct eye contact/come hither look,
T's smile gets a gold star, and I am digging the story
I was trying to tell with that hand on my neck...makes me wonder
if everything I do is a not so secret comedy...

Can I can convince CJC to bring out the real cam so that the "Bathroom Tales" pics can be less blurry and provide more inspiration for my fake criticism? I'll work on that.

JOY!