Slightly Connected Memories

My first alter was born in Philly.  Her name was Peaches.  That woman sitting directly below me and just above MinDog was Cream.  We wrote short comedy pieces and performed them on Sundays.  One night we were sharing a piece and could not get through it because we were laughing so hard.  David Hale, one of our professors, was there.  I had a thing for David Hale.  I always wanted to impress him because he was so smart and seemed to know everything about the world and theatre, he wore Tabi socks with flip flops or Tabi boots and what little hair he had left was all silvery white... when he gave me a tongue lashing for my unprofessional behavior I never felt so bad about myself, so embarrassed.  "You thought that was funny?  I didn't.  It is your job to be focused... let the audience laugh..." I believe this is when I began to perfect my straight man and seriously study/become obsessed with Bea Arthur- her deadpan comedic timing is genius, I aspire to be that good.

My second alter, also born in Philly.  Her name was WinterMoore(pronounced VinterMoore).  MinDog was Olga.  As cousins the two of us terrorized the streets of Philly and New York with our man made dialect saying we were from a non existent country in Africa called Slova.  People(men) believed us.  Among other things we said there were purple zebras in Slova and they believed us.  "I've heard of Slova; can you take me to there?"  My goodness, if we had a penny for every time a man said they had heard of Slova...

Recently we took a trip to Philly and went to D's moms house.  There we sifted through pictures from his childhood and we eventually took a trip down memory lane.  That memory involved MinDog, D, and me in a closet, a girl outside wanting to fight D and a broken mirror...I would elaborate but I think that incident may be the next screenplay D writes, so it's off limits.

Then we went to MinDog's mom's house and I remembered how her address was my return address on mailings for so many years but I couldn't remember why.  Neither could MinDog.  

Anyway, I was recalling incident after incident and realized how much I've laughed and cried from laughter.  It's a beautiful thing!  I wished I had pictures(other than production photos) from that period of time.  Then I remembered the picture above.

...glad Barry took took this picture all those years ago... When I look at it I remember so many things, I recognize growth, acknowledge lessons learned,  but mostly I'm struck by how much hasn't changed...To 2091!

Exactly

I had to create a movement piece one year. I did it to this song and my teacher said, " That was wonderful. I've always loved Tracy Chapman."

New Word

MinDog makes up words all the time. It's kind of funny but sometimes it drives me insane because after she makes it up she'll use it every chance she gets for a solid three days. My favorite MinDog word to date is ohmydunneration. This is was originally used to communicate with babies. It's another way to say oh my goodness gracious. Now it's used whenever and for whatever.

A couple of days ago I had to put my foot down when she came up with her latest.

Metch:
I don't feel like getting dressed but I must. Tell me what to put on.

MinDog:
Put on something that accentuates your wasstio.

Metch:
What's my wasstio?

MinDog:
Uh, hello, it's your waist to a** ratio.

Metch:
No Min. That word is unacceptable. Don't use it ever again.

MinDog:
You'll be using it soon enough.

Metch:
No I won't. I will never use that word.

2 seconds later after scanning my closet...

Metch:
I found the perfect thing to accentuate my wasstio!

BOOSTER SEAT

Where should I begin?

I know a few things for sure.  My mother is my mother, my father is my father and God provides.

Right now I'm wondering if God has provided everyone with a companion who is guaranteed to regularly make them laugh until they literally cry.

I just finished wiping my eyes.  I was in bed trying to sleep when I thought about a conversation MinDog and I had a few hours prior.   I COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING!  All by myself in the wee hours of the morning I was cracking up.

I haven't a clue why but for some reason MinDog and I were talking about booster seats.  Below is a snippet of the conversation that has me thanking God for my MinDog this morn.

METCH:
I want a booster seat.

MINDOG:
You know what?  You might need one.   Let me check right now (she types something into google I assume, there is a brief pause)-  Oh son, you are just making it!   Any child under 4'9" is required to be in a booster seat.  You're only five feet(she pauses thoughtfully).  I think you should get  one and take it on all your dates.

METCH:
When I come out of the house with it he might think I have a child or something.

MINDOG:
And that's when you say, "Oh this?  This booster seat is for me.  It's for safety."

Let the laughing begin.  Just that flash of the conversation ran through my head as I was lying in bed.  I couldn't help it-  I began to imagine all the men that I am currently known to run around town with (in reality and my dreams) pulling up to my building to find me standing there with my booster seat in hand.  Seriously, with all this laughter I don't think I need to do crunches for a month!

Don't let me come across an extra hundred because I might go buy one.  Please, file this under- SILLY THINGS I DREAM OF DOING and if you want to see what I would look like in a booster seat click here- when you see that very tall little boy in the seat just imagine it's me.

Letters To The World(and a specific person)... #3

Dear World,

I didn't expect to write you another letter so soon.  It's only been a couple of days.  I guess life is what it is...  I'll keep this one brief.

Am I really supposed to remind your adult a** that you are supposed to be somewhere or do something?  I hate when you ask with sincerity, "why didn't you remind me?"

Here's my answer: Last time I checked you were an adult.  Being an adult means being responsible.  If not in totality then at least be responsible for your schedule.  See, what I do is- I write things down or put them in my planner or phone or some other device that will record the appointment and remind me when it's approaching.  In addition to that I do my best to remember important dates.  If I don't remember it's probably because it wasn't important to me.

Wait.  Is forgetting your way of telling me I'm not important?

Geez, that's a coward's way out!  But it's okay.  I understand.  We must all live in a manner that makes us comfortable.

Stay warm.

Sincerely,

Metch

Letters To The World(and a specific person)... #2

Letters To The World(and a specific person)... #1

Mmmm...

"I feel there's gonna be an explosion."



Love this.

Letters To The World(and a specific person)... #2

Dear World,

You should know- I can't stand them.  Whether in a heated argument or prior to making a request they're not sure you'll say yes to, people who have to remind you of something/anything/everything they have ever done for you get on my nerves.  I can't stand them.  Those people irk me.

Every time somebody begins spouting what they've done for me I think about my mom.  She would be going on for years if she had to list everything she's done for me.  I'm glad she's not one of those people.  Don't think I'd be able to listen to that song.  Can you imagine?  "I was sure to nourish my body properly when you were in the womb, I gave birth to you, more specifically I let them cut me open when there was a chance you wouldn't survive, I fed you, burped you, changed your diapers, taught you how to walk, how to talk, I bathed you, I dressed you..."  See what I mean?  That would be a long song...I still hadn't turned a year when she was doing all of that.

With that in mind, how dare you volunteer to complete a task and then remind me/ throw it in my face that you did it because I choose not to do something you want me to do.

If my mom doesn't remind me of what she's done for me- YOU CAN'T EITHER!

I had no idea that time would pass and that service or item you voluntarily provided would mean I owed you my life.  What the what!  Since when did an act of kindness have to be repaid with whatever you fancy whenever you fancy it.

It all makes me weary of accepting anything anybody, except my mom, is offering.

If I take something from you that automatically means I can never say no when you ask me for something?  Is that how it works?  If I say no, I have to be ready to hear "but I gave you a ride when you needed one, that time you were hungry I fed you, when you couldn't sleep I stayed awake to keep you company, when you were thirsty I walked two inches and passed you your bottle of water, when you needed this I gave you this and when you needed that I gave you that..."

SHUT UP!

I declare today the day of doing things because you want to and not because you want to lord it over me in the future, force me to do things I don't want to do or announce from the mountaintops what a great person you are since you did x, y, and z.

Do things because you want to do them, do things because you have a kind heart, do things out of love and then forget you've done them.  Please and thank you.


Sincerely,

Metch

Letters To The World(and a specific person)... #1

General Impatience

I just can't!

I understand. You had/have somewhere to be and your attendance at said place requires a certain type of attire. Maybe you didn't want to carry an extra bag today so you decided to troop in your semi-new suede pumps that you don't want to ruin. But wait, YOU LIVE IN NYC AND WE JUST HAD A SNOW STORM! Why didn't you stop and consider how you would navigate the slush before you left the house wearing those darn shoes. SPACE IS LIMITED. I NEED YOU TO WALK! YOU ARE STOPPING THE FLOW OF PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC AS YOU DECIDE/TRY TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO BEST PRESERVE YOUR ADMITTEDLY AMAZING FOOTWEAR. There are about twenty people behind you with appropriate footwear or shoes they don't care about ruining on their feet waiting for you to make a move because they too have a place to be. I am one of them. You left your house knowing the situation outside. The snow fell about 3 days ago. Not a surprise. I am amazed and generally impatient. With this kind of CRAZY roaming the city, generally annoying me, how will I ever make it to 2091?

THE FUN THEORY!

I think I am in love! 

I have lived my life with the feeling that 95% of anything should be fun in some way!

And LOOK!!! Now, Volkswagon has made it into a theory and is testing it out.

Shout out to the Foxy Lady for posting this on Facebook!

ENJOY!

MINdog OWT!

Leah

That thing they say about gifts is true.  The thing about them not always being wrapped.  I think they say some gifts don't come wrapped or something about a small package or something about what glitters not being gold or something along the lines of expect what you are given or treat others as you want them to treat you or something about pictures saying  a thousand words or waiting for the truth or having your cake and eating it too.  It's all true.  Proven.  If you say it enough times or believe hard enough and long enough and if you have the air to fight or breathe or choke on then you are alive and you should be thankful and living.  This may sound like or read like a load of something that's not easy to grasp because it means nothing at all, it says nothing new and it runs away but  I accept that.  This paragraph is true, it's what I 'm hearing right now.  It's a reminder.  Even if you don't know what I'm talking about you do.  I haven't a clue about what I've written here but I do. In an instant things change and they just changed and something told me to write it down, to keep a record of the changes and all the record should say is: Be kind to yourself.

Thank you Leah.  Today for the entire day I will be kind to myself.

Wowza!

Lifetime and Lifetime Movie Network are great!

I love the cheese! The slow motion shots, the dramatic music, the acting, the thiss the thats!

YES I SAID THISS AND THATS! I love a this and that!!!!

And on a Sunday...what better thing can one do but sit and enjoy cheese all day!

Turn your brain off sometimes folks...it is worth it!

MinDog OWT!

Last Night

We were ending a phone conversation.

I said, "hurry, make your way my way."

He said, "I am making my way your way."


Wow.


If we weren't speaking of getting to a location, if he wasn't like a brother and if that man didn't get on the train eating funky beef and broccolli, I'd still be imagining what his making my way his way could mean.