Listen- don't judge us. Sometimes life is hard and we need a day of not thinking and laughs only while we intermittently discuss a few serious topics and get advice from each other or reprimand each other. That's how it goes. That's how it went.
And so...
Because we love a laugh- I decided to try online dating again.
Clearly I'm the only one in the world who thinks it's absurd to meet people this way. That's why every other time I've tried to do it I've failed dramatically and deleted my profile after no more than two minutes. Once on a dare I left a profile up for a week. Every second of that week was torture when I thought about my visible profile. I love a dare and I love a penny bet so I couldn't resist even though it was painful.
WHY I'VE FAILED
Like I said I think it's an absurd way to meet people, something about it is embarrassing, I know what people are generally looking for online(sex) or the whole thing seems desperate to me (MinDog and I have fought over that idea many times- she doesn't see it that way, also she admittedly likes living vicariously through me and loves when I have a bad, unheard of or crazy date because of the hearty laughs she gets to enjoy).
I don't like that people write some stupid things and post pictures that look nothing like them and tend to ignore everything you say in your profile. Last but not least- while I love a fit body there is something upsetting about men posing in the mirror and snapping pics of their naked torsos and sometimes more. NO, I am not on a site that encourages that kind of behavior but this is the internet so loose people slip through the cracks.
WHY TRY IT AGAIN
If nothing else I have collected/will collect lots of trash for our shitty fab blog. I was on the phone with Min and a portion of the conversation went like this:
Metch:
B**** says I should try this site she's on for online dating but of course I said no. Don't think its for me. You know?
MinDog:
I think you should try it.
Metch:
You remember what happened last time... (we laugh for a long time here- last time involved me literally running away from a date...I RAN...RAN in heels- my life is a bona fide comedy).
MinDog:
But you can meet duds in person too. And you do all the time. What's wrong with meeting a dud from a dating site?
Metch:
When you put it that way nothing I suppose but I can't stop associating the act of it with losers and I don't think it's healthy to think of yourself as a loser.
MinDog:
Don't think of it that way. B**** is not a loser. Just do it to have fun. You could meet a nice regular dude who is sane and what's the worst thing that could happen? You meet a new friend.
Metch:
True and that also sounds stupid but you know what- I think I'm up for an adventure today.
MinDog:
If I wasn't married I would be on every site there is.
Metch:
I know. I think that's why God married you off at a young age (we laugh again).
MinDog:
What's the site?
I tell her the name of the suggested site. We browse it at the same time and decide that I should set up a profile. I do just that. Within minutes I have messages. Literally minutes. It was kind of crazy. Now the first message was normal and tame and made sense. Every message after that was illiterate insanity and was proof that I was right about the whole thing... but that didn't stop me from promising MinDog that I would leave the profile up for a good two weeks.
It will be torture but if men continue to provide the kind of laughs they provided today- it will all be worth it. And guess what? I am going to share some of the messages right here on this shitty fab blog. But as a regular reader you knew that already, didn't you? I'd post their pictures too but that would be crossing the line.
ILLITERATE/DUMB MESSAGES 1, 2, 3 AND 4
1. Hey! I know I'm jumping the gun and ask.....
Can we just have a nice comfortable
conversation via text, email or telephone???
LOL Sorry it's just that we are just going to
have such a quick once a week conversation
on this site. And Im not going to get to
know you that way. So if your cool? Im cool!
lets do it!!! :-)
And if its not cool with you. Im always
willing to do it your way. (Smile)
2. Hi beautiful,would u like to talk and get to know each other and see how things go,do you have aim,yahoo or bbm
3. Hey lady hows your wknd going so far?
Before I get to number 4 I have to tell you it's my favorite.
4. SUP BOO
Where do I begin?
WHY TRY IT AGAIN
If nothing else I have collected/will collect lots of trash for our shitty fab blog. I was on the phone with Min and a portion of the conversation went like this:
Metch:
B**** says I should try this site she's on for online dating but of course I said no. Don't think its for me. You know?
MinDog:
I think you should try it.
Metch:
You remember what happened last time... (we laugh for a long time here- last time involved me literally running away from a date...I RAN...RAN in heels- my life is a bona fide comedy).
MinDog:
But you can meet duds in person too. And you do all the time. What's wrong with meeting a dud from a dating site?
Metch:
When you put it that way nothing I suppose but I can't stop associating the act of it with losers and I don't think it's healthy to think of yourself as a loser.
MinDog:
Don't think of it that way. B**** is not a loser. Just do it to have fun. You could meet a nice regular dude who is sane and what's the worst thing that could happen? You meet a new friend.
Metch:
True and that also sounds stupid but you know what- I think I'm up for an adventure today.
MinDog:
If I wasn't married I would be on every site there is.
Metch:
I know. I think that's why God married you off at a young age (we laugh again).
MinDog:
What's the site?
I tell her the name of the suggested site. We browse it at the same time and decide that I should set up a profile. I do just that. Within minutes I have messages. Literally minutes. It was kind of crazy. Now the first message was normal and tame and made sense. Every message after that was illiterate insanity and was proof that I was right about the whole thing... but that didn't stop me from promising MinDog that I would leave the profile up for a good two weeks.
It will be torture but if men continue to provide the kind of laughs they provided today- it will all be worth it. And guess what? I am going to share some of the messages right here on this shitty fab blog. But as a regular reader you knew that already, didn't you? I'd post their pictures too but that would be crossing the line.
ILLITERATE/DUMB MESSAGES 1, 2, 3 AND 4
1. Hey! I know I'm jumping the gun and ask.....
Can we just have a nice comfortable
conversation via text, email or telephone???
LOL Sorry it's just that we are just going to
have such a quick once a week conversation
on this site. And Im not going to get to
know you that way. So if your cool? Im cool!
lets do it!!! :-)
And if its not cool with you. Im always
willing to do it your way. (Smile)
2. Hi beautiful,would u like to talk and get to know each other and see how things go,do you have aim,yahoo or bbm
3. Hey lady hows your wknd going so far?
Before I get to number 4 I have to tell you it's my favorite.
4. SUP BOO
Where do I begin?
LOL should not be in a message to me if you want me to take you seriously neither should you write the word smile in parenthesis. Why can't people write whole words? You is not a long word and did you ask me if I have aim? Weekend is also not a long word. All four of these men said they were older than 30 so why doesn't their communication reflect that? I'm not even going to touch the not knowing the difference between your and you're or number 4. There is so much to say but I won't bother.
What you read above are actual messages that men sent me expecting a response. Did they not read my profile? Though it's brief I clearly state who I am, how I am and what I like.
Stay tuned for more comedy... and please know, despite my laughter I remain open to the possibility of it all. I mean I am the poster girl for living out front. Remember that?
What you read above are actual messages that men sent me expecting a response. Did they not read my profile? Though it's brief I clearly state who I am, how I am and what I like.
Stay tuned for more comedy... and please know, despite my laughter I remain open to the possibility of it all. I mean I am the poster girl for living out front. Remember that?
UPDATE- I wrote this post a while ago. Since writing it I have deleted my profile. I lasted the two weeks as promised but I couldn't hang after that although MinDog begged me to do so. That's why you can call me a punk. I couldn't hang. I couldn't hang at all! I have to find another way to live out front when it comes to dating. At this moment I can say that internet dating is not for me. Now, I'm still open to trying again, maybe, okay not really but maybe...I did make a new friend from the site. I'm not dating him. I actually sent him on a blind date with one of my girlfriends and they are now dating...call me a punk and a matchmaker.
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