Things Mommy Said/Says

Many have heard the phrase, "I brought you into this world and I'll take you out."  Maybe your mom or dad said it.  Maybe you remember when Bill Cosby said it to Theo in the clip below (one of my all time favorite episodes).

Today, after hearing a parent say that phrase to her misbehaving child I got to thinking about all the unintentionally funny things my mom said to me in my younger years... and now even.

Oh, how my mom loved to turn things into people or parts of people; it was usually my father and occasionally a cousin.  Her own grand form of personification.

Once when she saw me litter she said, "if you don't pick up your father's nose..."  I never littered again.

When I forgot to put my books away she said, "Gwei, come here and put your  father's backside in its place."  Didn't leave a book out for years.

When I would cry starvation in an attempt to get her to buy me outside food before we got home she'd ask, "are you really that hungry?"  "Yes," I'd reply.  "You'll be just fine.  You have enough adipose tissue to sustain you for decades."  The first time she said that I found my face in a dictionary reading about adipose tissue.  My mom had effectively played me.

"In histology, adipose tissue or body fat or fat depot or just fat is loose connective tissue composed of adipocytes. It is technically composed of roughly only 80% fat; fat in its solitary state exists in the liver and muscles. Adipose tissue is derived from lipoblasts. Its main role is to store energy in the form of lipids, although it also cushions and insulates the body."    - from Wikepedia

Mommy had a knack for playing me and fooling me too.  Every time she asked if I was really that hungry I would think when I said yes she was going to give in and get me a Happy Meal.  That never happened.  And every time she mentioned adipose tissue and made me wait to eat a home cooked meal I thought I was being punished.  Didn't know how good I had it...

When I would forget to close a door she'd ask, "did you mean to leave your father's mouth open?"

That woman is funny.

As a child I want was my favorite phrase.  Still is.  I want so many things...

Every time I would ask my mom for something if her answer was no I would say, "but I want it."  Her response was always, "lucky for you, you're old enough for your wants not to hurt."  Hmmm... I still don't know how I feel about that one.

Has your mother (or father or guardian) ever used any of these phrases?  Similar ones? Does she, he or your family have phrases that only they use?  Please share.